Sunday, March 12, 2017

Random Saturday #12: To Speak and to Listen!

Hello my dear readers!

I'm terribly sorry for being absent for the past two Random Saturdays, but at some point I ended up having 3 jobs, only one of which paid me some money (in case you wonder, it was the bakery, the horse riding, and Cardoon… with the bakery giving barely enough money to sustain myself), and I just didn't have any willpower to force myself spend a couple more hours at the computer, instead of falling asleep.

The good news are - I quit the bakery job, for various different reasons, one of which is not being able to pay enough attention to my sweet Cardoon Events' blogs. Then I took a week to relax after everything I had to endure at that amazing job, and now I'm back on track!

While being at the job, and from some other various incidents of my life, I've started thinking how important it is to speak and to listen. It is not a coincidence, that this particular phrase is present at the ready wedding vows that are used here in Santorini.

Why I believe speaking, or in other words letting people know what is going on in your head, and listen to what others have to say to is so important? Because we have a mouth, two ears, and an evolved brain!!

Everyone is different, everyone has his or her own reaction to life situations! For example, if someone brakes a glass, one can cry, other can laugh, some might swear and some might ignore it and just clean the mess. We all have our own triggers, and when we are not letting the people around us know about our triggers, bad situations might occur. To give an example, again, I have a weird attachment to my coffee cup, whether that be at my house, at the office, or anywhere else I might drink coffee frequently. So if I choose to have a certain cup for my coffee, it will make me feel uncomfortable for someone else to take said cup for their own coffee. How I see it, I'm obliged to inform my coworkers about the coffee cup situation, to avoid any stupid conflicts in the future.

But it's not just with coffee cups and other minor peculiarities each and everyone has. When in a relationship, if something bothers you, you should tell your partner about that, rather than just lashing on him/her out of the blue, after keeping all your negative emotions bottling up. The other person might not notice that an certain action is annoying to you, and with you telling him/her that, will help solve the problem without any fights.

At your job, you should speak to your employer and coworkers about any problems and concerns regarding the job you might have. Yes, not all bosses like to hear complaints from their employees, let alone do something about then, still, if it is something, that can improve your quality of life at work, or even better your results at work, why not discuss that with your boss? Solve your problems, before they become bigger!

Speak up your mind, don't be afraid to express your feelings. The only way for others to understand you, is by speaking to them! Verbal communication in us, humans, is the key for better understanding!

As important as it is to speak, it is equally important to listen to what others have to say! Don't interrupt midsentence, don't start arguing before thinking about what the other has to say, don't ignore. Sit and listen to what the person next to you has to say to you, silently!

Sometimes all we need to do, to make someone else's life better is listen to his/her story. For example, you life partner might had a long day at work, and really, like reeeeeally needs to complain about all the bad things that happened. Let her/him speak to you. Don't make suggestions, don't tell to just get it over, don't try to avoid the conversation telling that everyone have bad days. Make a cup of tea, or even better, a cup of hot cocoa, and listen to your other half.

If you are an employer, a manager, or you are in any high position at work, listen to your employees. Just because you have power over the people you work with, does not mean that you should disregard what they have to say. Sometimes, you can get the best idea from a person least except, or solve unpleasant situations that make everyone's life difficult. And of course, if you are an employee, listen to your boss. Maybe they have to be hard on you, because the previous workers didn't pay attention to what he/she had to say, causing easily avoided problems.

Before criticizing, or plain ignoring, what the other person has to say, wait and think about it. We all think differently, that's why we don't always agree with each other. Ask for clarifications (coming back to the speaking part real sneaky) if you don't understand something, invest some time into thinking over the opposite opinion. You will be surprised when you realize that, more often than not, the only reason you disagreed in the first place, was because you just didn't try to look into the logical part of what was said, but reacted only because of emotion.

I can go on and on for a long time, so I'll stop here, hoping I've made my point.

Why am I saying all this? Because at the job at the bakery, the most problems with the boss and the stuff, happened because either someone didn't speak, or someone refused to listen. The same goes for my personal relationship. After we started talking with my boyfriend more about our feelings, and listening to what the other has to say, we've been much better and happier with each other.

That's all I have to say. I would be glad to discuss this topic further with you, so feel free to leave a comment your opinion bellow J

Thank you very much for reading! Have a great Sunday!

Ow!! Right!! The song of the week :p 

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