I dedicated last week's blog about divorce parties and
what Santorini has to offer for a post-divorce rejuvenation trip. Although it
is nice to start your new life after the divorce with a positive attitude, it
is even better not to get to the point where you will need a divorce.
This Monday, I would like to write some tips on how to
keep your marriage strong and everlasting. Let's get back to the positive side
of life!
1. Don't rush into
getting married
One good trick for keeping your marriage for ever, is to
know who you are marrying, and for that you need time. Don't rush into marriage
if you've only been together for six months or a year. If you believe you have
finally met you other half, he or she won't run away if you don't start
planning your wedding from the very beginning of your relationship. Invest a
couple of years or more into getting to know your significant other, so that
you won't have to face any unpleasant surprises once you are a family.
2. Share
compliments
Everyone loves a compliment, especially when it comes
from your spouse. Even though you have been together forever, and you have
exchanged every possible compliment there is, this does not mean that you
should stop! Tell your wife that she looks amazing when you see her in the
morning, and tell your husband how handsome he looks in his new suit. A small
compliment now and then will keep the love in your marriage and make the day of
your loved one.
3. Show
appreciation
Appreciate the little things your spouse does for you and
around the house. Ok, it is really annoying when your are the only person who
does the dishes in the house, but your significant other won't appreciate your
ironic comment when he or she finally decides to do the dishes. Instead, thank
him or her, give a kiss. Not only your spouse will feel good that such a little
action was greatly appreciated, but he or she will also be more willing to do
the dishes more often.
4. Speak &
Listen
Speaking, is proven to be one of the best way to pass
information to another person, and listening is the best way to receive this
information. If something bothers you, speak to your spouse. If your special
someone wants to talk to you about something, listen. Don't let negative
thoughts and feelings bottle up. Yes, what you want to say or hear, might not
be really pleasant, but it is better to discuss any problems you might have
when you are calm, not when you'll burst into uncontrollable anger because you
couldn't take it anymore.
5. Have humor and
be patient
No one is perfect, we all have our annoying habits, and
your significant other is not an exception. What if he never puts the new
toilet paper roll at the holder, no matter how many times you told him to do
so. Print out a funny instruction about how the holder works and put in the
bathroom, for example. It will work as a funny hint, and might actually have a
better result than angrily reminding him of that. All of our small habits make
us into what we really are, and when marrying your other half, you are agreeing
to marry all of those small, annoying habits as well. Instead of fighting over
them, laugh about them and be patient… after all you have some of those habits
as well.
If he or she is having a bad day, and is acting up
without a reason, don't try to prove that he/she is wrong and you are right.
Instead, offer a massage, a hot cup of chocolate, give a hug. Your special
someone probably needs someone to grumble about things, not someone to argue
with.
6. Spend time
together
The older we grow, the more responsibilities we have. Be
that your career, your children, a new hobby, or your daily chores. This does
not mean that you shouldn't try and find some time to spend with your spouse. Enjoy
a movie together, cuddle on the couch on a rainy day, set a date night once a
week. This will help you relax, get away from your everyday problems, and will
keep you close to each other.
7. Share your
likes
Along with the habits, all of us have our interests in
life. You and your significant other probably already have shared interests.
This does not mean that you shouldn't take interest in the other things he or
she likes to do. No need to become an expert in the field, but your other half
will most certainly appreciate that you wish to learn more about his wood
carving hobby. Even better, start a new hobby together, and bond even more by
learning something new together.
8. Be supportive
We all have to face small or big challenges in our lives,
and take hard decisions. Don't you love when you get the support of your lovely
husband or wife over a decision in your life? You probably do, and I bet he or
she feels the same way when you are supportive yourself. Even if you feel that
you already have enough problems to think about yourself, don't be selfish and
spend time to discuss your other half's problems. If your significant other
turned to you for an advice and support, it means he or she really needs it.
Don't take it away.
9. Stay kinky
This could be a delicate issue for some, but it is still
an important subject to keep in mind. It has proven, even scientifically, that
getting intimate with your special someone improves your mood, your marriage,
your day in general, and it helps you feel close to each other. No matter how
long you have been together, you shouldn't take the intimacy away from your
life. Keep the romance alive!
10. "I love
you honey!"
This is probably the most important of all the above.
Don't be shy on telling your spouse you love him or her. Show him or her you
love, and appreciate his or her love. There isn't a better thing in the world
than being loved by someone you love back. It is not bad or harmful to say
"I love you". On the contrary, it is the most beautiful thing you can
tell your significant other.
Marriage is not easy. It never was, and probably never
will be, but it is in our hands to make it the best adventure of your life, and
not seem like an obligation. You married your significant other for a reason,
so don't forget that reason when times are hard.
Thank you very much for reading, and I hope you are happy
and loved!
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